Days after exit polls have predicted the complete rout of the Congress party, there is an intense leadership struggle in the Congress party. Much to the anguish of Sonia Gandhi, the electoral failure has led to a coup by young party leaders who have collectively accepted responsibility for mounting a leadership challenge. The undemocratic neo “syndicate” has demonstrated unprecedented resistance to the constitutionally ordained dynasts.
Rahul Gandhi has taken note of the developments and immediately left for London. Addressing the media in London, Rahul appealed to the British public’s deference to its dynasts, earnestly singing, “God save the queen from the toffee model.” His coach and sister, Priyanka Gandhi was also by his side. While Priyanka Gandhi did her bit to bolster Rahul’s credibility, she proved to be as much of a media distraction as Kate Middleton’s belly.
Like the British royals, Rahul is working tirelessly to establish his leadership credentials from his party war room in Buckingham. However the frequent comparisons to the British royals was strongly condemned by dynasty apologists who pointed out that while one prince worked hard for his country, the other played a largely ceremonial role as the Congress Vice president.
The Indian media in the meanwhile, belatedly woke up to Rahul’s frequent absences. Journalists justified their belated coverage by complaining that nobody notices when Rahul is missing and that it took them an entire election to notice it. “He lacks presence anyways,” commented another senior journalist. Rahul’s spokespersons justified his absence claiming that he had already sought permission from his mother to “work from home”.
The Indian media has also confirmed from their sources that the party coup was initiated by a wise and articulate 4 year old Londoner in an inconspicuous princess tea party. The toffee hog insisted that she was the only royalty in the party. The balloon deflator also kept talking about her imaginary stuffed-doll-family which the electorate could not see. This young party leader has declined to comment on Rahul’s leadership.
While the coup has excited many, satire writers at The UnReal Times are disheartened, “Rahul is a gift that keeps on giving. He won’t disappoint us even in opposition.”
